"Not a 5-star property. The "5-star" label here is used the way "artisanal" is used on gas station sandwiches. It's a 3-star in a 5-star costume. Don't fall for it. Nuts & bolts below..
THE UGLY: They give you coffee pods but ask for ONE tea bag? That's extra. What arrives? An empty cup, a single tea bag, and a sachet holder with a dozen sugar packets. I wish I was joking.
Checkout is worse, You're held hostage while housekeeping inspects the minibar to confirm you didn't steal their precious 6 mini bottles of Red Label and vodka. Because apparently the $500 USD deposit on your card isn't enough collateral for $12 worth of liquor. Five star energy right there
THE BAD: The "Luxo com cama casal" upgrade is a straight-up scam. You pay premium for extra space that's basically a sealed-off balcony with zero function, an alcove cosplaying as a room. Save your money, book any sea-facing room. Oh, and even at the higher category, breakfast isn't included. The AC operates on vibes, not the temperature dial. Soap and moisturizer quality screams budget motel. And if you're a light sleeper, good luck, the sea-facing walls and windows let in every creak and groan like they're made of cardboard.
THE GOOD: Belldesk staff are genuinely wonderful. Sea views are lovely. It's right on the beach. That's it. That's the list."
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