"If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to check into a 1950s fever dream, look no further. The location is a 10/10, but the hotel itself is a solid "Time Machine Broken."
Walking into the lobby felt less like a vacation and more like an estate sale. The air had that signature "Grandma’s Attic" musk, and the reception featured a glass cabinet of snacks that I’m fairly certain have been there since the Eisenhower administration. They’re also still trying to make "DVD Rentals" a paid thing. In 2026
Speaking of charges—bring a kidney if you’re bringing a dog. They "allow" pets, but its $$$
The walls in our one-bedroom were made of what I can only assume was high-quality tissue paper. I didn't just hear the people in the parking lot; I’m pretty sure I’m now legally a witness to their divorce proceedings.
Pro-tip: Don't be fooled by the photos. 90% of them are of the fancy, overpriced restaurant next door. Also, the "walk" to the beach is actually a vertical mountaineering expedition. We enjoyed the workout, but if you aren’t training for the Olympics, you might just want to wave at the ocean from the parking lot. Joking aside, if you like no frills whatsoever, reasonably clean, and decor from almost 70 years ago, this is for you. For me, the price was way too high for what this place was, and I wish I had known about Seabrook (5mins away) before I booked."