This hotel is basically a sleep-deprivation experiment disguised as lodging. It’s perched right next to I-5, directly across from the Woodburn Outlets, and cozily nestled between a 24-hour medical clinic (with regular ambulance cameos), a round-the-clock Denny’s (with questionable decisions being made at all hours), and a used car dealership where engines must be tested at 2 a.m.
Now, take all that chaos and remove any trace of soundproofing. You’ll hear it all: the freeway hum, late-night pancake disputes, every cough from the urgent care, and your neighbors’ conversations like they’re sitting on your bed.
Bonus: At exactly 5:30 a.m., your room fills with the aggressive aroma of brined bacon from the complimentary breakfast. Hope you like waking up hungry and confused.
Décor? Let’s just say the curtains and the furniture may have witnessed the moon landing live.
Unless you’re a rat trying to escape the rain, or an insomniac with a bacon fetish, maybe keep driving. Or sleep in your car.
